How Come Nobody Ever Spots Bigfoot In Port Jefferson?

Where you ever driving down the LIE and somebody in the car says "Look it's Bigfoot"?

Ok enough..Ahhh. Stop with the stupid Bigfoot stuff. Don't you think that after all these years they would of caught the furry caveman. We can use GPS etc to find a pimple on my ear from Neptune but they can't locate an 9-foot tall hairified beast.

Did you ever notice that Bigfoot is never spotted walking across The Long Island Expressway or riding on the back of the Loch Ness Monster. Also why is every picture blurry? Stop waisting money on this crap. Hey did you hear about the new reality show? "Bigfoot and The Loch Ness Monster search for Jimmy Hoffa's grave" Geeezzzz.

To be honest being Italian I have some Uncles that could out back hair any Bigfoot. Maybe Bigfoot is just some guy from Sicily walking through the woods. "Hey Uncle Mario I told you don't walk in the woods with no shirt on"

Some other things are bothering me with Bigfoot. Where is Mrs Bigfoot? You would think Mr Bigfoot would stay home with Mrs Bigfoot and all the little Bigfoots instead of roaming around the woods posing for photos. Where is the Bigfoot house and where do they go to the bathroom? All these years of Bigfoot sightings and nobody has stepped in Bigfoot poop. Did any of the science types ever think that Bigfoot does not want to be found. He has a great situation. Goes to work anytime he wants. Eats what he wants. Has his choice of Lady Bigfoots. Pays no taxes and no drive to work with rush hour traffic. You know the "Footster" has it made...

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