Musings From the Beach Chair

You know those days where you just can’t seem to get out of your own crap? After a number of rainy days I found myself under a pile of emotional sewage, so at the first sign of sun, I took my chair, my iPod and a notepad and headed to Sunken Meadow beach. I love spending quiet, alone time at the beach and while some people read, I write. Here, kids, are some of my random thoughts and beach chair observations:

• The man who volunteered to sunscreen my back if I did his, was not trying to pick me up after all. He made the same suggestion to three other passing women, thereby plummeting my self-esteem. Thanks strange dude!
• A perky twentysomething is prematurely teaching the members of a preschool field trip all about the rules and humiliation of dodge ball. Really? Can’t we wait til grade school gym class before we inflict this kind of torture on kids?
• Upon overhearing a mom’s conversation about her child’s upcoming field day, I find myself both grateful and melancholy that my children are long past those years.
• Bringing toddlers to the beach is a screaming, sticky, sandy effort in futility.
• Remembering how everyone used to call this strip of beach “Sunken Ghetto” back in the day.
• Literally saw a man in his mid-thirties walking on the beach with a discman. Today. At 12:45 p.m. In 2011.  (Nod to comedian Gary Gulman) 
• I’m reminded with every overheard “Aks” and “Yaw kiddinme?” that the immigration to Lawn Guyland from Brooklyn and Queens is very much alive and well.
• On a beach scattered with people and screaming children (seriously, do they ever just talk?), it’s amazing how solitary one can feel with eyes closed, sun shining, breeze blowing and the sounds of life drowned out with an iPod.
• Aforementioned “pick-up artist” is sleeping slack-jawed on his beach chair drooling.  That’s hot.
• How teenage boys go to the beach: Take off shirt; lay on towel; leave sneakers and socks on.
• Learned that hot flashes under the blazing hot sun is an entirely new level of hell.
• I’ve decided that if Steve Jobs were in front of me I would grab him by his ears and firmly plant a kiss square on his lips in appreciation of the iPod and iPhone.  Subsequently I would do the same to Mikel Jollett, the frontman for The Airborne Toxic Event for bringing such hauntingly perfect music and voice to my ears.
• In hindsight realized it was probably not the best move to blow off a conference call today because “something suddenly came up” only to post on Facebook that I’m enjoying some much-needed solitude at the beach. 

Beach season starts this weekend -What’s your perfect beach day? Alone and contemplating life while people watching? With a big crowd, a volleyball game and a cooler full of beer?  Alongside the kids, collecting shells, swimming, and building sand castles? Share your summer Long Island beach plans!