That’s right you lovebirds, Valentine’s Day is upon us once again.
Are you looking for something extra special to do with your sweetie in Commack? Is your honey-bunches tired of getting those same old boring gifts and unoriginal red cards? Why not spend the night at the infamous Commack Motor Inn instead!
If you’ve already heard of the then you may have a sneaking suspicion that I’m being just a tad bit sarcastic. If you have no idea what kind of place it is, let's explore this local gem. I guarantee you will be both shocked and awed.
Don’t let the quaint brown exterior of the Commack Motor Inn fool you into thinking this would be a great place to stay while visiting your grandparents in town. Or even, heaven forbid, an adequate place to stay with your family for the night as a break from driving (Let's just say the Inn isn't exactly "kid friendly"). It is also not a particularly good after-prom spot.
The Commack Motor Inn is more of a spot to cozy up with that special someone in your life...or that special someone you don’t want your significant other to find out about...or just anyone at all really. It’s a place where you can just cut loose, be carefree, and really be adventurous in your own town.
Here are some of the selling points of the Commack Motor Inn, as noted on their website: "ample secluded doorstep parking"—for those special late night visits that you don’t want anyone else to know about; a recently expanded library of X-rated films for you erotic movie buffs out there; and, most importantly (and oddly), "triple-sheeted beds” (who knew those actually exist?).
They also boast rooms with romantic features such as: deluxe heart-shaped beds for the newlyweds and first-daters; fully mirrored rooms; sunken en-suite heart shaped tubs for two (just in case the heart shaped bed wasn’t tacky enough for you); water beds—for that little extra bounce; and even round beds, so you really never know which way is up.
Now, let me be clear, I am not speaking from experience. I’ve never had the pleasure of staying at this fine establishment myself, but it sounds like a crazy good time to me. Just be sure not to forget the expensive champagne, Hugh Hefner-style red robe, flameless candles, and your favorite strawberry-scented body for an extra good time.
If you don’t have a whole night to shack up with your lover then fear not—the ever-accommodating Commack Motor Inn also offers four-hour room rentals for just that occasion.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all, and to all a good night (at the Commack Motor Inn, obviously).